Paper Shank #174 Childhood Memories

 

Mom, thank you for all those wonderful childhood memories.  Here is my therapy bill.

Paper Shank #173 Uppity

You're pretty uppity for someone that doesn't have a job.

Paper Shank #172 Check In Place

I'm not saying she's a slut, I'm saying that Facebook made her vagina a check in place.

Paper Shank #171 The Help

 PLEASE NOTE:  A parody  is a work created to mock, comment on, or make fun at an original work, its subject, author, style, or some other target, by means of humorous, satiric or ironic imitation. Parody is protected as a form of “Fair Use”, a defense to claims of copyright infringement.  Cases dealing with this issue, however, look to how much of the original work is taken, holding that only that minimum amount necessary to “conjure up” the original work may be taken.  Courts have also held that the parody work must actually make fun of  the original work or its author.

Paper Shank #170 Girl Next Door

Paper Shank #169 Taste in Men

Paper Shank #168 Hard to Get

I'm not playing hard to get, I'm playing leave me alone.

Paper Shank #167 Strong suit

I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm saying that thinking isn't your strong suit.

Paper Shank #166 Sad Story

Write a sad story in your diary and get over it.

Paper Shank #165 Underground Garage

She's crazy.  Just when you think you have reached the bottom of her craziness, there is an underground garage of crazy.

Paper Shank #164 Cobra

Go cuddle a cobra.

Paper Shank #163 Reward

Do not reward yourself with food.  You are not a dog.

Paper Shank #162 Anti-social

I'm not anti-social, I'm anti-stupid.

Paper Shank #161 Happy Place

My happy place is your happy place burning down.

Paper Shankl #160 Voice Mail

You've reached my voicemail because I don't want to talk to you.

p.s. yes I know I misspelled voicemail and it should be voice mail - but I'm not changing it.

Paper Shank #159 Punch

You are one of the people, I want to punch in the face.

Paper Shank #158 Call Me

Call me maybe - the infamous song by Carly Rae Jeppson.  I KNOW it has been overplayed but it is a pop culture classic - even Donald Trump knows the words!

Paper Shank #157 Clueless

One of my favorite quotes from The Bridesmaids. You have to say it in an English accent to get the full effect.  "I didn't know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book."

Paper Shank #156 Awkward

That awkward moment when you realize you have a lot in common with the person you hate.

Paper Shanks #155 Bless Your Heart

Southern charm at its best - Bless your heart and by "bless your heart" I mean you're a bitch.